Wednesday, March 22, 2017

I'm not okay, I'm not okay, I'm not o-fking-kay


Today I’m going to talk about therapy.

As I’ve said before, I have been in and out of treatment since I was 14. This year I am turning 31. So, a long-ass time. I use the term ‘treatment’ quite loosely here: at age 14, for example, I was seeing a counsellor at my church, rather than a licenced therapist. I’ve also seen social workers, psychiatrists, psychologists, dieticians, general practitioners [GPs], and other types of counsellors.

 I am a barrel of fun, let me tell you.

 


I often receive messages from people saying that they want help or they can recognise that they need help, but they are scared to involve a professional. There are a number of reasons why people might feel this way, and honestly, it can be scary scary scary to feel like you might be Crazy Enough™ to seek professional help. I can completely understand the reluctance that so many people have expressed to me, as despite being in and out of treatment for the majority of my life*, I still feel so much fear, anxiety, and yes, embarrassment and shame, when I know that it’s getting to the point where I need to seek professional help.
 
The reasons for this can be very individual, so I can only talk about my own experiences. In my experience, I’ve been reluctant to seek professional help due to the following thoughts:
 

 “I’m not really that bad. I’m just having a bad day. Week. Month. Year. Lifetime.”
 

“They will think I am making it all up OH GOSH WHAT IF I AM MAKING IT ALL UP I A TOTALLY MAKING IT UP WHO EVEN AM I WHAT IF MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE.”

“Other people have it worse and so they need the treatment more.”

“I’ve been worse before so I can’t ask for help unless I get that bad again, or even worse than my worst.”

Monday, March 20, 2017

Now with 73% more Dark and 89% more Twisty


Ooo look! It’s my bright and shiny new blog! It’s here! Hooray!

I can’t tell you how excited I am to be blogging again, and I also can’t tell you how grateful I am for the all the support and encouragement I’ve already received. Thank you. Really. Thank you.


For my first official post, I thought I’d explain a bit about what you can expect to find here. As I said in my post here, this blog is going to be focused on issues to do with mental (un)health. The right sidebar has a list of the pages for each of the topics I will be talking about [though at this time they all say ::under construction:: Posts will be coming #soon]. And yes, if you are wondering, that title is an Ed Sheeran song lyric. I love him ok. Like not Mars level love, but it is way up there.


Each page will have some introductory information about the topic, and a list of any future blog posts that relate to that specific issue. There are also pages for downloadable content, a list of resources outside my blog [namely other blogs and YouTube channels that deal with mental health that I love], and for my fiction, because let’s be real, I really can’t help but play pretend author. You will notice that the link to my original blog is also in that list, just in case you want to play the nostalgia game and remember that time that I met Jared Leto and he used my design on an official Thirty Seconds To Mars t-shirt [three years later and still not over it, hehe]. I hope to have all these pages up and running over the coming weeks.

 

Mental (un)health is hard. It can be incredibly scary and isolating, especially if you don’t fully understand what is happening to you and you feel you have no one to talk to. I hope that the content I provide here helps those struggling and helps us all feel less alone. Myself included, as I feel very alone and afraid sometimes. Often. Always. But a wise man* once said, you’re not alone. We all go through the same shit. And he was right. We do. Everyone struggles with something, be it a diagnosed mental illness or otherwise. We all have our own battles to face but if we face them together, they can seem a lot less scary. Together we can overcome anything life throws at us.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Guess who's back...Back again...

[This is a repost from my original blog, The Girl With Words. I am posting this as an introduction to and explanation of the purpose of this blog. If you'd like to read more of my older posts, you can do so here.]

***

Well helllllloooo there, everyone. It’s been a super long time since my last “real” post. I feel a bit awkward and weird writing here in this manner again because I have been absent for so long. Like, a REALLY long time. Is anyone even still reading? It’s okay if you’re not. …Which you wouldn’t know, of course, because you wouldn’t have read that. Whoops.


Clearly my [already lacking] literary skills have declined during my absence. Sorry. Hopefully I will improve back to mediocre in no time!

So, I’m sure if you’re reading, you’re wondering where I have been. Let’s just say I have been at the very bottom of The Dark and Twisty Place. Like, there’s the point where you think The Dark and Twisty Place ends, then you discover another secret hidden chamber down the bottom, and then inside there is a trap door, and after falling and falling and falling for what feels like 4000 years you reach the bottom only to find that it is full of SNAKES! AND BEARS! AND LIONS! AND TIGERS! AND MORE BEARS! OH MY! and so you try to run but the SNAKES ARE EATING YOU AND THE BEARS ARE EATING THE SNAKES AND THE LIONS ARE EATING THE BEARS AND THE TIGERS ARE EATING THE LIONS AND SOON YOU WILL BE SIXTEEN LEVELS OF DIGESTED, HELP and then SUDDENLY you discover ANOTHER DOOR and you rejoice because YOU’RE SAVED! HURRAH!!! but as you go through and the BOTTOM COLLAPSES and you realize that IT IS YET ANOTHER LEVEL OF DESPAIR and you keep FALLING and FALLING and TUMBLING and OH LORD WHEN WILL IT END and…Well. You get the idea. That is where I have been.

In case you can’t tell, it has been super fun. Like just damn near delightful.